Friday, 1 July 2016

10 Things Women Approaching 50 Will Understand

This is me on 28/6/16
In 2014 I wrote a popular blog post called 10 things only women hitting 40+ will understand and now I am emotionally ready to deal with the real hot potato... hitting half a century pretty soon. I don't see much of a difference, except that ageism is starting to rear its ugly head in the work environment and I have early symptoms of menopause but still going through all the joys of the monthly period. I am on HRT now and whatever your GP says, there is a brand you can use when you still have the period. It makes a huge difference to hot flushes and hormonal mood swings. I apologise if I am recycling some 'things' from the previous post but they are still true! I will update them to suit my 'new' thinking.

You dust off old tech - nostalgia is so fashionable!

1. You rejoice when a cartoon you grow up with is revamped, but then don’t like the new drawings, the new storylines... So you get a video off Freecycle or head to the only charity shop that still sells them. And what about a vinyl player, a cassette/cd player... Personally I regret getting rid of the old-fashioned camera with professional lenses I had and my cassette walkman dying of natural death. Nostalgia is a big trend among the younger generations too. Who would have thought that the e-book would not upstage a paper book? Young people still like smelling those pages like we do. And my daughter made me chuckle when she asked me how she can pause the radio (it was not a digital radio!).

You start to get Saga-style stuff in the post - too early!

2. Why am I getting adverts for stairlifts, special holidays, special deals at the local gym... Is it likely I want those extra-wide fit shoes or a mumu outfit or elasticated pants? Not likely at all. Our generation likes jeans, trainers and trendy stuff and it's hard enough not to look like a mutton (because yes, we still like fashion, shock horror), so please don't send any geriatric adverts my way, please!

You are still a tiger, not a cougar!

3. You can’t still stomach any violence, real or imaginary (aka films, TV, video games), but you are ready to pounce like a bloodthirsty tiger if somebody tries to harm/hurt your child in any way. If like me you are an 'old' mum, you have a 9 year old that is still learning how to cope with school bullies (boys and girls), 'unpleasant boys' and 'unfair' teachers... 

The Ministry of Sound is still churning out those CDs!

4. You might have danced there in your late 20s but the brand is still trying to look cool and despite the current download culture, they are still producing CDs. You recognise the old tunes among the most recent dancefloor hits and go back in time when you could stay out all night and feel fresh in the morning. And yes, you'd still give a Paddington's stare to the hip girl/boy who doesn’t hand you a nightclub flyer while you are out shopping at the weekend.

You ask yourself: 'Mirror, mirror, do I need you?'

6. No, you don't. I try to avoid looking in the mirror unless I am applying makeup for a special occasion or I am brushing my hair. Don't ever look after the bath, don't. If you do, appreciate your good bits, if you have looked after yourself, I am sure you look great for your age! Remember that even celebrities cannot defy ageing, there are enough plastic surgery horror stories that prove it.

If comfort eating is your thing, don't knock it!

7. Yes, it's good to be a healthy eater but sometimes a little of what you fancy... or a lot depending on your mood... I am unlucky because when I am down I lose my appetite so I cannot gobble ice cream and feel better. So basically if I am happy I get fat! This does not work very well because I am happier in spring and summer when I'd rather be thinner! But I still believe that life is too short to count calories, dammit!

You are in the market for stylish sunglasses for sure!

8. You should not feeling guilty for buying an expensive pair of sunnies - consider the price and dangers of an eye lift or dermal fillers. A stylish pair of sunglasses will make you look younger - and will protect your eyes from the sun so no further wrinkles from sun exposure can join the others.

You still have secret office fantasies

9. Unfortunately or fortunately, you still fancy a younger colleague but you’d die of embarrassment if he’d ever found out. Remember that nobody can stop you from imagining all sort of things happening. And you can give him a hug and friendly kiss at the Xmas party without nobody suspecting anything. You could probably get away pinching that perky bottom but you don't want to risk a summon from HR.

You have removed your date of birth from your CV

10. You know that revealing how old you are can damage your career prospects. Yes, they can do the maths by checking when you graduated or got your A levels, but they might not, so it's worth not declaring your age unless you are asked for it. Unfortunately you will not get some jobs not because you are under-qualified but because somebody younger will pip you to the post. I have written a jokey article about it, read it here

Pictures from CC search. Credits: Plkawll, The Italian Voice, Eva Rinaldi from Sydney Australia via Wikimedia Commons, jeff_golden, David Gandy for GQ Japan by Arnaldo Anaya-Lucca, Sérgio (Savaman) Savarese, Saed de los Santos, Andrew Hurley, Dan Vidal, Wikimedia and Wikipedia

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